Sunday, December 20, 2009
im down!!!!! oh God help me!!!
i just dun fyl myself lately... but y??? y??? who am i to them?? when they nid me, they come to me... but wen they dun they ever bother???????? oh God,...... y must this be to me....
i just nid my life back..... im stresss!!!! my mum nid to go for op.....but so many complications make my heads hurt... i love her... i dun wish to lose her... she is the only precious person left for me.... i still nid and treasure her....ye aku marah dia, suara tinggi kat dia... tapi tu bkn niat ku... i just love her of who she is... she is my mother who protect me since born till im now.... who still i have ?? my siblings?? do they bother??
yess they do!! but... still my closeness is still w my mother... they cun replace my parents........... my friend aynn... besties since small together...go sch ,eat ,play and spent time together.....for 13 yrs of frenship whr has she been??
she nid me when evrting seems not fine for her... wen happy mmts do she remamber me??
who i am to her.... im bored at home.... no one cntacts me... yes my fren does... but i just fyl down and start to drift away from them... i dun wan coz of my stress and down i lost my frens... they r great to me... but (sigh) i just wana cry now..... i miss my dad will he be here again to protect me?
i just miss dose mmts w him... he loves to make jokes and the one who make my family smile... but now wen his gone,,, my life is such a disasterous and led unhappy life.... y?? ppl must hate me?? what i have done to them make them sick of me?? have they never done any mistake?? are they pure and pious enuf to teach me??
what am i to my fren?? family?? siblings?? myself??
im confused..... i have hurt a lot of ppl ard me.... am i useless to them??????
but i noe to Allah , im not the useless... only He noes how i feel.......
now i just nid to isolate myself from others.... im helpless.... bored.... y should i present myself to anyone ... i might just hurt them physically , emotionally and mentally..... am i turning mad???
oh God,,,,, Ya Allah , kenapa dgn ku ni??? adakah ku tidak berguna lagi di mata mereka? adakah kerna dosa ku itu semua ingin mengutuk ku? mencaci ku? layan ku asal blh??
adakah ku manusia seperti patung yg tak ada perasaan...
ku benar2 sedih...merintih sendirian.... aku kesian melihat keadaan mak ku itu... sunngguhpun dia sudah tua dan lanjut usia bagiku dia tetap berguna..... ku menyayangi ibu ku... dia la ibu ku yg tercinta.... dia adalah seorg wanita yg terhebat ... dia senantiasa di hatiku... dan idola ku... org tal penah mengerti perasaan ibuku... tapi ku mengerti... kadang2 wlwpun ku mengerti....kenapa ku masih meradang ke ibu ku Ya Allah.... ku sedar dosa ku itu... tapi ku tak pernah fhm perasaan ku sendiri...... maafkan ku.... mama ana selalu doa mama yg terbaik........
love
Anna
i just nid my life back..... im stresss!!!! my mum nid to go for op.....but so many complications make my heads hurt... i love her... i dun wish to lose her... she is the only precious person left for me.... i still nid and treasure her....ye aku marah dia, suara tinggi kat dia... tapi tu bkn niat ku... i just love her of who she is... she is my mother who protect me since born till im now.... who still i have ?? my siblings?? do they bother??
yess they do!! but... still my closeness is still w my mother... they cun replace my parents........... my friend aynn... besties since small together...go sch ,eat ,play and spent time together.....for 13 yrs of frenship whr has she been??
she nid me when evrting seems not fine for her... wen happy mmts do she remamber me??
who i am to her.... im bored at home.... no one cntacts me... yes my fren does... but i just fyl down and start to drift away from them... i dun wan coz of my stress and down i lost my frens... they r great to me... but (sigh) i just wana cry now..... i miss my dad will he be here again to protect me?
i just miss dose mmts w him... he loves to make jokes and the one who make my family smile... but now wen his gone,,, my life is such a disasterous and led unhappy life.... y?? ppl must hate me?? what i have done to them make them sick of me?? have they never done any mistake?? are they pure and pious enuf to teach me??
what am i to my fren?? family?? siblings?? myself??
im confused..... i have hurt a lot of ppl ard me.... am i useless to them??????
but i noe to Allah , im not the useless... only He noes how i feel.......
now i just nid to isolate myself from others.... im helpless.... bored.... y should i present myself to anyone ... i might just hurt them physically , emotionally and mentally..... am i turning mad???
oh God,,,,, Ya Allah , kenapa dgn ku ni??? adakah ku tidak berguna lagi di mata mereka? adakah kerna dosa ku itu semua ingin mengutuk ku? mencaci ku? layan ku asal blh??
adakah ku manusia seperti patung yg tak ada perasaan...
ku benar2 sedih...merintih sendirian.... aku kesian melihat keadaan mak ku itu... sunngguhpun dia sudah tua dan lanjut usia bagiku dia tetap berguna..... ku menyayangi ibu ku... dia la ibu ku yg tercinta.... dia adalah seorg wanita yg terhebat ... dia senantiasa di hatiku... dan idola ku... org tal penah mengerti perasaan ibuku... tapi ku mengerti... kadang2 wlwpun ku mengerti....kenapa ku masih meradang ke ibu ku Ya Allah.... ku sedar dosa ku itu... tapi ku tak pernah fhm perasaan ku sendiri...... maafkan ku.... mama ana selalu doa mama yg terbaik........
love
Anna
our love lingers at 2:57 AM
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